Not spoken to my Father in over 20 years, since he remarried after my Mother died 21 years ago. Anyway, I have just been informed that he died on Monday just gone aged 87. Apparently he went into Hospital for a routine procedure, contracted Covid and died as a consequence. Such is life. Anyway, the point of my post is, has anyone else ever lost a parent or really close relative and found it difficult to summon any emotion or the need to grieve? It really has not bothered me... Is that bad?
No mate don't beat yourself up about it. My mother died about 5 years ago and it hasn't really bothered me that much, yes I loved her and we were very much on speaking terms etc but she was never the most loving lady and so I didn't feel any huge emotional loss. Grief is a strange emotion and can often be delayed but what your feeling right now is repeated by many other peeps around the UK. In any event I am sorry for your loss
Didn't have anything much to do with my mother since I was 18. She died a few years ago when I was in my early 50s. It didn't affect me, in fact I never shed a single tear, and didn't attend the funeral.
It a very hard to measure emotion against someone else, and also what the triggers are, my Mum died over 30 years ago, was in my 20s, real shock just out of the blue, Dad was in bits, just had to take to control, as far as outpourings of grief it never hit, was so wrapped up in it. Again when my Dad died he was early 90s, overlived his time, and it was better for him to go, so again I guess there was grief but it never displayed itself openly or really felt it. Now the elephant in the room, when Southgate missed the penalty in Euro 96, I went out in the garden and balled my eyes out...... go figure that!
Interesting how if affects different people. Lost both parents when I was in my 30's. Sad, cried a bit then moved on with life. When each of our Yellow Labradors died, yep they were old and had a good life, I balled my eyes out. That was nearly 2 years ago and I still get full even writing this. Soft bugger that I am.
You feel how you feel T.C .....there is no wrong or right way to feel about it but you shouldn't feel bad. Some people have regrets having not spoken to there parents in a long time, it is what it is I suppose. My condolences go out to you regardless. I also lost my Dad aged 77 just last week, he'd suffered with Alzhiemers for the last few years but had a few other health complications and finally had a stroke which the Docs at the hospital said he wouldn't survive. We got to be by his side at the end though. We had a typical father son relationship, we could spend time together but we were very similar so would clash regularly, we also worked together which doesn't help. He was a good family man though and taught me everything, my mentor if you like. While I'm incredibly saddened by his passing and there has been a few tears, I know he's not suffering and in a better place. My Mum also passed away 3 years ago. Now this was a completely different set of emotions. She died very suddenly aged 69 from a brain hemorrhage, one day she was there, the next day she was gone. Turned my whole world upside down and changed my life forever, changed me as a person too. I'm not ashamed to say I was a Mummy's boy right from the off and not having her in my life is a daily struggle. I felt angry and bitter for a long time, not anymore though. But you never get over it when it happens in this way , you just learn to live with it. Its a strange feeling for me now to not have any parents. I feel like I have no one to answer to anymore.........I keep jokingly calling myself an orphan Its my Dads funeral on Tuesday, we lay the great man to rest. He'll be reunited with my Mum.........She'll probably say "what the bloody hell are you doing up here, I got away from you once"!! RIP Mum and Dad x
I lost both my parents some years ago i never really grieved over the loss, lots of issues with them when I was in my teens that I have never forgiven them for, sounds harsh but love and protection works both ways, do I feel guilty, No.
Very interesting thread this, something you never think about when meeting people or even just interacting on an Internet forum. My folks are both still alive but my wife lost her mum when she was in her early 20’s which had a big impact and still does on the anniversary of her death every Jan.
Lost my dad a few years ago, he was a good mentor for the work ethic but died due to acholic, I do feel I may be following him,
