Cheers peeps for all the posts! no worries about putting my son first he is my reason to get up. He is a lil diamond. Thanks again, and heres to some good news for the rest of 2015!
My two closest friends went thru what you're going thru now matey and I saw them in the pits of despair. But a couple of years later they have come out the other side with strong and loving relationships with their littl'uns and contentment in themselves. It will get better even tho it might not feel like it, let the love you have for your little boy,and the love he has for you guide you thru any of the bad times......take care and keep your chin up
Sorry I missed this, Zip. Just to echo what others have said, recently. The situation really sucks but you're not the first person in the world who's had to go through this and you sure as heck won't be the last. Most important things to remember are, Try to keep things with her as cordial as possible. It really is the worst possible thing to allow dented pride to cause problematic parental relationships. Your son is obviously the most important thing here. Try to be as helpful to her regarding your son as if you were still together. Stay off the booze as much as you can. It may seem like a quick fix but it's actually exactly the opposite. It's a massive depressant once it wears off and can leave you feeling 10 times worse than you did before you started drinking it. Keep yourself busy and EXERCISE. Even if it's just a lengthy brisk walk of an evening. It gives you time to work through your thoughts and the dopamine realeased will make you feel genuinely better. Try not to hate her for ending things. Very very difficult to do but you really do need to be pragmatic about things if you can. I'm sure that this is a decision that she's agonised for a long time about. It could just as easily have been you that wasn't wanting to continue further. Try to bear in mind that this is the worst point. It's fresh, it's raw and it will all feel a bit overwhelming. It will get easier to deal with as time goes by and someday you'll find yourself with things organised with a good relationship with both your boy and his Mum. Maybe even in a relationship with someone who's better suited to you and you'll struggle to remember why you felt so bad at the time you broke up with your ex. Most of all remember, if it's not meant to be it's just not meant to be. Things have to be right for you AND her. If it's not then it's time to move on. Life is too short to waste. Make the most of this opportunity to end up in a happier situation.
Been through all this myself fella, my only advice is don't rent a house too close. Although you may not like the idea, your wife will move on and so will you, the last thing you want is to be seeing her with someone else or indeed, her seeing you with someone else. Keep your chin up fella, avoid alcohol, get as much help as you need from friends and family and if all else fails, don't be afraid to see a doctor and don't be afraid to post as much as you like on this thread. Also, look on the bright side, at least she wants to maintain contact with your son, there are many that have lost contact as a result of relationships breaking down.
I know I'm a relative newbie on here but feel it's worth offering an opinion from the other side. I was the one who did this to my ex over 20 years ago. Was being railroaded into marriage at 19-20 y.o. and just decided enough was enough. I had 2 lads with her and kept in touch with them via my mam and saw them whenever I could when they were up my mams. They're now both in their mid 20's and when they need something they come to see us. Never any pressure from me and the wife, but the door is alway open. It is hard at first but kids are resilient and will still love you no matter what! I now have a few grandchildren from them and they call up whenever they want. Life moves on and you'll find someone else and if they can't accept you have kids from another relationship then move on as THEY aren't good enough for you!
Sorry to hear things haven't worked out for you fella. As others have said the priority is to maintain a happy relationship with your son, and take all the positives you can from your time with him. As for everything else, it will all come good eventually. Stay positive buddy - good luck!
