Positivity posts

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by mk3golfcab, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. mk3golfcab

    mk3golfcab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,037
    Likes Received:
    1,064
    We all struggle with life at some times. As an advocate for good mental health due to my own experiences, I thought it might be a good idea to start a thread full of positivity to help any members who need a pick me up at any time.

    Feel free to add any posts/experience etc that has helped in low points :)
     
    • Like Like x 4
  2. nigelrb

    nigelrb Elite Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2017
    Messages:
    9,771
    Likes Received:
    3,275
    Sorry, but I'm feeling too down to contribute!:(
     
    • Downvote Downvote x 1
  3. Barstewardsquad

    Barstewardsquad God Like

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    6,209
    Likes Received:
    2,760
    You know what nigel, we all have the right to make twatty statements but sometimes you abuse the privilege.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. nigelrb

    nigelrb Elite Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2017
    Messages:
    9,771
    Likes Received:
    3,275
    That's a very interesting statement to make publicly rather than via PM with a respectful message of your feeling my posting is in poor taste. Also interesting that only now do you elaborate on the downvote posted some hours earlier. It's only fair then that I publicly respond.

    I feel most who suffer depression find humour a calming antidote. My post is not, in my view, patronising or offensive, and I haven't - to date - been cautioned or spoken to by @mk3glofcab. Had he have done so I would have no problem immediately retracting the post, and am in fact, still prepared to do so.

    You do not know my history, but I too suffer bouts of depression, the worst leading to a suicide attempt by overdose of Tryptonol and consequent hospital admission of 3 days after I was found unconscious in my workplace.

    Sure, I have not experienced such a negative state over recent years, but can obviously empathise with those who similarly suffer. To that end, I have no difficulty believing that a person suffering depression would find my post 'jovial' rather than demeaning.
     
  5. LRJimmy

    LRJimmy Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2019
    Messages:
    1,489
    Likes Received:
    543
    Well heres one. John Lewis suck. Or rather DPD do. Just unboxed a new TV and the screen is like crazy paving!!!!
    Positive waves and off to email John Lewis and see how quick they can get a replacement!!!!
    Cunt of it is, I ordered 2 at the same time and the other should have came today but the delivery guy called and said they had issues so it will be Monday now?
    Im sure it will be fine...
     
    #5 LRJimmy, Nov 30, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2019
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Barstewardsquad

    Barstewardsquad God Like

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    6,209
    Likes Received:
    2,760
    I rarely do PMs outside of selling/buying bits. This is a public forum and as posts are public I feel that responses should be public too.

    As for the delay, I had only just calmed down enough to reply in what I considered an appropriate tone.
     
  7. bladeaddict

    bladeaddict Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2014
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    103
    Live in Cheshire near the salt mines so the roads are like salt city. So bike is wrapped up now till we get the spring rains. So dug out the mtb and went cycling this morning. Sod’s law 15 miles into the ride puncture in the back wheel. Cyclists and bikers often get bad stick from fellow motorists. However whilst fixing the puncture three car drivers stopped and offered help and one was a women. Who said she couldn’t help but her dad lived a mile away who was a mechanic and she could call him to help me. Just shows still some decent people out there
     
    • Like Like x 7
  8. Barstewardsquad

    Barstewardsquad God Like

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    6,209
    Likes Received:
    2,760
    Years ago I had burnt the candle at both ends for far too long. One day I was going to work and the then girlfriend told me to open my eyes and look for the good things. I then noticed the road I was walking down had some really nice floral arrangements on it, irony is that I had walked down that road for weeks and not noticed.

    Sometimes you have to look outside the blinkers you create and simpy notice the good things in life.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. Mattie660

    Mattie660 Elite Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,397
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Remembering things, bike related:

    Coming back from Mugello on my CBR, pissing down with rain.

    Went through a road toll and pulled over to sort out the ticket in a dry place, and sort myself out. Two GB reg bikes come past - a ZZR1400 and a Repsol CBR.

    Once sorted myself out I thought I would head off and catch them up - well - xxx mph in the rain, lying on the tank :D - didn't see them again until I caught them up ages later in traffic !:D I thought I was going to catch them up in two minutes !

    Amazing - cruise missile that thing !
     
  10. BoroRich

    BoroRich Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    3,199
    Likes Received:
    1,518
    As I've mentioned previously on the forum, I lost both my parents and all my grandparents quite young. Also suffered with panic attacks. Possibly as a result of the former.

    One night in 1999 I felt completely alone in the world. I briefly but seriously toyed with the idea of topping myself. Started running through the details of how I was going to do it. What preparations I needed to make etc. Fortunately I didn't and snapped myself out of it. Scared myself a bit and went to bed. Literally two days later I caught up with some old friends that I hadn't seen for a couple of years. Ended up going to a party after a few drinks in the pub. Ended up laughing so much my face hurt. At one point I went for a piss and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror and thought, 'jesus....look at you. Two nights ago you were thinking of ending it all and here you are, face sore from laughing, grinning like an idiot. If you'd gone through with it, you'd have missed this'.

    And even sat here now typing this I'm reminded of all the things I've done since. All the foreign countries I've visited through holidays and work, all of the beautiful meals I've had, the women I've slept with :D, the triumphs at work, the laughs I've had, getting married to my wife.......the list goes on and on and on and on. I wouldn't have had any of it if I'd called time.

    Scary but at least I now know I could NEVER give up. Just keep going to bed and eventually the worm will turn. My life will be over when it's ripped out of my fingers and not before.
     
    #10 BoroRich, Dec 1, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019
    • Like Like x 11
  11. tuktuk

    tuktuk Elite Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    836
    Has anyone been able to manage mental health issues without seeking professional advice? I feel like I'm always on the edge of losing my shit. Constantly anxious, feeling of dread and find it hard to see positives. I always make excuses and tell myself it's just been a rough chain of events and things will pick up but feel like I can never catch a break. I've never consided it bad enough to seek advice/help but maybes I havent took it as seriously as I should. I get the odd day where I feel great and nothing can stop me and think, is this how I'm meant to be all the time?
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. BoroRich

    BoroRich Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    3,199
    Likes Received:
    1,518
    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's the thing that helped me. Well worth the effort to see someone. Explains how anxiety works and why it's actually nothing to be afraid of.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. mk3golfcab

    mk3golfcab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,037
    Likes Received:
    1,064
    I have, but I’ve also used professionals to manage it. For me I need to talk to someone before it really takes its hold. We’re all different though. @tuktuk, send me a pm if you want to talk, I’ll forward my mobile number and can chat over text or whatever if you want/need too mate.

    You’re not alone :)
     
    • Like Like x 4
  14. BoroRich

    BoroRich Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    3,199
    Likes Received:
    1,518
    And I'd honestly forget trying to sort it out yourself. Do yourself a favour. See a professional. They're there for a reason.

    Funny how people never consider doing their own dental work because they want to sort it out themselves :D
     
    #14 BoroRich, Dec 1, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. tuktuk

    tuktuk Elite Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    836
    Cheers guys.

    I spoke to a GP years back and explained what was going on. I had just come out of a long term relationship and the doc put it down to that but I knew then it was deeper rooted. Didnt want to argue the point so just accepted the docs view and gave myself the 'time is a great healer' talk. Kind of wished is pushed for something to be done then but better late than never :) Will go back and see what they advise.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. BoroRich

    BoroRich Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    3,199
    Likes Received:
    1,518
    Probably mention the cognitive Behavioural Therapy. IMHO counselling does next to bugger all :D
     
  17. Barstewardsquad

    Barstewardsquad God Like

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    6,209
    Likes Received:
    2,760
    If you have work health insurance try giving the insurer a call. Also lots of companies have helplines that can put you in touch with the right people.
     
  18. Kentblade

    Kentblade Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2012
    Messages:
    2,156
    Likes Received:
    1,508
    Funny how it takes something that knocks you down to sometimes change your views and perspective.
    As some of you know, I suffered a head injury earlier in the year, which has totally changed the course of my life and it’s daily routine.
    It’s made me sit and think about what’s important and what’s not. It’s made me look at myself and question some of my motives and thoughts.
    Don’t get me wrong, this ain’t a self pity, feel sympathy for me post, as there so many more people out there in a far worse position than me who will never recover to the level I have so far.
    It took me 3 months to utter the words brain injury, couldn’t get the words out of my mouth, couldn’t admit to myself a bit of me had probably changed forever, thats the self pity bit.
    Not gonna bore anyone with the issues, but what I want to say is that you realise how much people care and want to help.
    Was rammed home one day when a guy from down the street knocked on the door, said he was sorry to hear what happened, and knowing I could not drive, anytime, any day, just ask and he would give me a lift......might not seem much, but this is the guy, 10 years ago, over something minor, that I promised to his face that if he ever crossed my path again, I would stove his head in, made me realise he was a better man than me and what a c**t I am.
    He is one of many, many people that have been there for me, and I slowly realised the alpha male industry I worked in had turned me into a real selfish, miserable, arrogant a**ehole. Can’t blame it all on the industry, takes 2 to tango.
    So can’t turn the clock back, and won’t sugar coat it that I am gonna become a saint, but for the first time in many years I have had to look myself in the mirror and face up to a few home truths.
    It made realise just how many more decent people are out there than I thought.
    Dont want to go on too long and bore you all, so I will leave it there
     
    • Like Like x 10
  19. Gaffa22

    Gaffa22 Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2016
    Messages:
    590
    Likes Received:
    236
    Well i must say it takes some balls to admit when you have you been an arse and or talk openly about the issues you guy's have faced, so respect where its do.

    I always thought that people that commit suicide are very selfish and could never get my head round why anyone would even contemplate it.
    Then a few years ago I suffered a prolapsed disc in neck which resulted in a compressed nerve, I lost the use of my right arm and the pain I suffered was fuc***g staggering, it got to the point that I considered topping myself to be free of the relentless pain. I was on very strong pain killers, but as the pain was caused by a damaged and compressed nerves the tablets only took the edge off. 3 months later I was lucky and had an operation to remove the disc and made a full recovery.
    I relied very heavily on my wonderful family to help me though it.
    So from a physical point of view i can now understand what could drive someone to suicide.

    From a mental health side i cannot even begin to imagine how depressed people can feel, I had a chat with someone recently who explained to me how bad he felt and it started to make sense.

    So my thoughts go out to anyone that has suffered deep depression or other mental health issues.

    I now treat every day as a bonus and do as much as i can to make the most of everything.


    here's the result of the op you can see the metal plate holding my head on, there also a bone graft cage between the bottom 2 vertebra
    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. nigelrb

    nigelrb Elite Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2017
    Messages:
    9,771
    Likes Received:
    3,275
    I think, in the main, the thought processes relative to depressive suicide is not that the person even thinks about being selfish, but to the contrary, the person feels they are compassionately helping others by 'removing' a problem from their life, hence the oft' heard saying: 'They'll be better off without me.'

    Then there is the 'cry for help' suicide attempts which is a topic in itself and perhaps best avoided here.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3

Share This Page