I bit long winded I grant you but worth a read if you fancy a laugh. Yesterday I had 14 calls. 14! I counted them. Involving emails, texts and phone calls spread between my work mobile phone, private mobile and private land line. I haven’t had an accident, I don’t have a mortgage, I haven’t been sold loan insurance I don’t need any payday cash or to change my utility providers Last night I had some poor sod on the landline. I kept him on the phone by starting of being polite and showing interest in his most kind offer to ‘solve my terrible debt problems’ with my answers getting more and more bizarre just to waste his time and see how far I could go before he would cotton on. I would have thought the sound of L laughing in the background would have given the game away but I have to give it to him, He was working hard and sticking to what I assume was a tick box script in front of him. The only problem was he was only hearing what he wanted to hear not what I was actually saying. We discussed the very large salary used to earn before being ousted from the business for what I believed was my bosses jealousy that my feet are bigger then his. The fact that we spent more than we earned because we know we could keep on top of the interest payments by my poor performance bonuses I asked if he mind holding while I went and found my loans and max’d out credit card paperwork, I sat and read the London Evening Standard for a while fully expecting him to have put the phone down. But no he had waited and was still on the line. I thought I would been rumbled when I asked if we would be able to keep our valuable heirloom collection of stuffed giraffes given to us by my great grandfather who worked for many years bringing the Lord’s name to darkest Africa before sadly being captured and eaten by a tribe of cannibals. But no, that, it would seem wouldn’t be a problem. Although keeping the villa on the Costa Blanca and L’s diamond tiara might be a little tricky. He even mistook my chuckling for crying and said the is no need to get upset “we will help you sir” In the end the penny dropped and he said “your winding me up aren’t you” to which I responded “what the do you think, you fcuking Muppet, you didn’t ask if we had any dept you just told me you could solve” that’s as far as I got before the phone went dead.