Unsolicited Emails, texts and phone calls

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Freedom of choice, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. Freedom of choice

    Freedom of choice Elite Member

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    I bit long winded I grant you but worth a read if you fancy a laugh.

    Yesterday I had 14 calls. 14! I counted them. Involving emails, texts and phone calls spread between my work mobile phone, private mobile and private land line.

    I haven’t had an accident, I don’t have a mortgage, I haven’t been sold loan insurance I don’t need any payday cash or to change my utility providers

    Last night I had some poor sod on the landline. I kept him on the phone by starting of being polite and showing interest in his most kind offer to ‘solve my terrible debt problems’ with my answers getting more and more bizarre just to waste his time and see how far I could go before he would cotton on.

    I would have thought the sound of L laughing in the background would have given the game away but I have to give it to him, He was working hard and sticking to what I assume was a tick box script in front of him. The only problem was he was only hearing what he wanted to hear not what I was actually saying.

    We discussed the very large salary used to earn before being ousted from the business for what I believed was my bosses jealousy that my feet are bigger then his. The fact that we spent more than we earned because we know we could keep on top of the interest payments by my poor performance bonuses

    I asked if he mind holding while I went and found my loans and max’d out credit card paperwork, I sat and read the London Evening Standard for a while fully expecting him to have put the phone down. But no he had waited and was still on the line.

    I thought I would been rumbled when I asked if we would be able to keep our valuable heirloom collection of stuffed giraffes given to us by my great grandfather who worked for many years bringing the Lord’s name to darkest Africa before sadly being captured and eaten by a tribe of cannibals. But no, that, it would seem wouldn’t be a problem. Although keeping the villa on the Costa Blanca and L’s diamond tiara might be a little tricky.

    He even mistook my chuckling for crying and said the is no need to get upset “we will help you sir”

    In the end the penny dropped and he said “your winding me up aren’t you” to which I responded “what the do you think, you fcuking Muppet, you didn’t ask if we had any dept you just told me you could solve” that’s as far as I got before the phone went dead.
     
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  2. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    14 unsolicited calls! Somebody's got it in for you mate. All I get is the odd late evening half drunken text messages from punchy geezers falling out of the members bar in the houses of parliament.
     
  3. Freedom of choice

    Freedom of choice Elite Member

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    Mmmmm, Sorry about that Ken, A post dinner swift half never goes to plan. Tuesday night in 'Strangers' at the H of C's is like Saturday night in Temple Bar, just the beer and the totty is not as nice
     
  4. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    It's no problem whatsover David. At least you weren't so off your tits this time that I couldn't read it.
     
  5. GappySmeg

    GappySmeg Active Member

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    I've always thought that if we could all find the time to take the pi$$ out of cold callers, it would no longer be profitable and their whole business model would collapse.

    I would imagine that they are working to such tight margins that merely delaying EVERY call by a minute would put an end to them once and for all. With that in mind, no more quick "f&*?$ off" or simply hanging up... lets all resolve to spend at least a minute wittering on about our granny's washing or the cat's acrobatic tendencies.
     
  6. RepsolBlade

    RepsolBlade Active Member

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  7. Freedom of choice

    Freedom of choice Elite Member

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  8. callumw

    callumw Active Member

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  9. arthurbikemad

    arthurbikemad A very helpful Gent

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    I keep changing all my spoof emails to my mates address...... he did say he likes spam....lol ;)
     
  10. Freedom of choice

    Freedom of choice Elite Member

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    Huh, didn't he get much love as a child !
     

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